I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.
-- Ronald Reagan
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
-- George Carlin
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
-- Burt Bacharach
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
-- Jerry M. Wright
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry
To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior.''
-- Rita Rudner
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