Things to Think about

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?



Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?


If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?


What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?


How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?


Clones are people two.


Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?


Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?


Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Funny Sayings by Well Known People

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.



-- Ronald Reagan
 
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.



-- George Carlin
 
If you can't convince them, confuse them.



-- Harry S. Truman
 
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.



-- Burt Bacharach
 
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.



-- Jerry M. Wright
 
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.



-- Marion Barry
 
To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior.''



-- Rita Rudner

Homer Simpson Quotes

"Press any key to continue, where's the any key?" - Homer



I hope I didn't brain my damage... - Homer

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. - Homer


Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals!... except the weasels. - Homer


I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff... and I want in. - Homer

Frog Joke

The Lonely Frog’s Predicted Future


A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store.



His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog is thrilled and says, “This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?”



“No” says the psychic, “in a Biology class.”