Old People Joke

There was a man and a woman in an old folks home. The man says to the woman, I bet you can't guess what age I am. The woman says I'll give it ago, but first pull down your pants, the man pulls down his , then the woman says pull down your underpants, so the man does. The she taps around down there :D and she says your 97. The man asks, how do you know that? The woman answers, because you told me yesterday

Brittany Spears Joke

Britney Spears and Justin Timberfake were walking along the beach.


Suddenly, Justin says, "Aww, Britney, look at the dead birdie."




Britney looks up at the sky and says, "Where?"

Snail Joke

The snail, goes into a Car dealership he asks the salesmen if they have any big balck sports cars? The sales men says yes. The snail says, could you please put a big S on the front, a Big S on the side, and a big S on the lisence plate. The salesmen says why? The snail says it's personal I don't want to tell you. SO he comes back in a week. With a Big S on the front, a Big S on the side, and a Big S on the lisence plate. The salesmen asks the mechanic I wonder why he wanted the Big S? The mechanic says I don't know but look at that S-car-go

Your Mama Jokes

Yo' mama so hairy, you almost died of rugburn when you were born

Yo mama so ugly, she makes onions cry

Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said to be continued

Yo mama's so stupid, when she went for a blood test she studied for it.

Yo' mama's so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven!

Yo mama's so dirty, the U.S. Army wants to use her bath water as a biological weapon.

Yo mama is so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner - so she went looking for it.

Yo mama's so nasty, she has to put ice down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.

Yo mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, ducks throw bread at her. 

How I Annoy People

Here are Ten Ways that will annoy someone for sure....


1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.



2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."


4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."


5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.


6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <


7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.


8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.


9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

Some Crazy Thoughts....Just Think About It....

If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP?

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?

Was learning cursive really necessary?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart

Bad decisions make good stories

I saw a crematorium the other day that advertised discounts for burn victims.

Animal testing seems unnecessarily cruel. The animals get too nervous and never get the right answers.

John almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she dumped him before they met.

Do you think phonetic should be spelled the way it sounds?

I've been trying to find another word for synonym.

Welcome to My Blog

This blog is dedicated to all those bloggers looking for funny and humorous things on the web. Please feed free to contact me through postinge a comment or emailing me at mcnair2020@msn.com...   It is ok to laugh your ass off.....